a letter to my sweet little Afton

My sweet little Afton,

We went up to your grave last night and it was as pretty as always. I could not have picked a more beautiful place to visit and remember you. When I’m up there it’s like an escape from life for me. A chance to slow down and think about everything…about life…about you.

It’s strange to think about the first time I was up there. It was just this last summer, I was pregnant with you and we were at your Grandma’s house, your sweet Grandma Colleen. The conversation was about the cemetery up the hill and the bunnies. They told us the story of the bunnies.

The story is about a little girl who had passed and her parents left bunnies at her grave because she loved bunnies so much. They left a male and female bunny. Then the bunnies did what bunnies do best …make more bunnies.

I still remember that hot summer night, I had to see the bunnies for myself. This story was too crazy to believe. So your Dad drove us up there, and sure enough we saw bunnies, about five bunnies. What I remember more about that night than the bunnies, was the beautiful view. How peaceful it was up there.

Looking back, that night was like a foreshadow of our future, and we didn’t know it. We didn’t know that we would be up there often. We didn’t know that this beautiful place would become such a part of our lives.

I love that there’s bunnies up there. I love that your brother and sister love to look for the bunnies.

I love you, Afton. We all love you and think about you so much.

love, mom

* During this year, I hope to write a letter after the 14th of each month (the day of my little Afton’s birth) as I do my best to heal.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Comments

  1. 1

    Oh my goodness, I love the bunny story! What a quirky, fun little feature. We don’t get to visit our daughter’s gravesite very often, because we chose to bury her in Utah (knowing we ourselves hadn’t settled anywhere permanent, yet). So, when we get to visit the cemetery it is an event. Her headstone is in a part of the cemetery reserved just for children, and it is a bright, colorful place. A lot of people have placed pinwheels, toys, and/or flags near the stones, along with flowers. So my children love to run around and check out all the swag. We put “little sister of” on the headstone with names, and my kids say that makes them feel famous. It’s so funny! Once when we visited, the sprinklers came on, and my children played in the sprinklers and laughed and laughed while they got soaked, and we came away with a wonderful memory. Isn’t it great that thanks to bunnies and sprinklers, there are still ways to make memories together?

  2. 2

    Oh my god, it is always so (bitter!)sweet to read your letters to dear little Afton. So much grief, so much love…This place is beautiful, Kami! It is so peaceful and sweet, so pure and simple. Lots of love from here! XO
    Valérie

  3. 3

    *tears*
    I’ll never look at bunnies the same way again…
    ((hugs))

  4. 4

    Such a beautiful resting place. My heart goes out to you and your family. I applaud your amazing strength. The bunnies made me smile and I too will never think of a bunny the same.

    Much Love <3

  5. 5

    oddly, the place where our son is buried has bunnies too:) thank you for writing to Afton. i know she appreciates it as well. amazing how such small people can change us forever. in such amazing ways. love to your family.

  6. 6

    What a beautiful place with the sweet bunnies, so sweet :)

  7. 7

    Kami,
    You make me a better person. I love you dearly and I wish we were closer…. sending you hugs my sweet friend.

  8. 8

    My neighbor and one of my best friends lost her brother when he was 12 and he is buried there. Just last summer she and her kids raised bunnies. One bunny died and they all decided to take the other bunny up to “Tanners place” so he wouldn’t be alone. They dropped him off and he hopped off with a group of bunnies. I do think it’s kind of magical the way those bunnies bring peace to little hearts about big issues. And the foreshadow that first night there was brings tears to my eyes. Still think about Afton.

  9. 9

    What a lovely letter on such a sad subject. My heart goes out to you and your family over the loss of your little angel.

  10. 10

    so pretty and so peaceful. i love these letters to your sweet Afton Jean. and love that there are bunnies hopping all around. and i love even more that heavenly father had shown you such a beautiful place that would help bring peace during a very difficult time before you knew it.
    xoxo, april

  11. 11

    Beautiful, as always. I love the story of the bunnies.

  12. 12

    I love the story of the bunnies. Beautiful post!
    Thinking of you and your family, but especially Afton!

  13. 13

    Time just keeps on going even when are hearts are still trying to heal. I think of you often and know somedays are harder then others. I love the the cemetery is a peaceful place for you and a fun place for your kids. Hang in there and know we all still pray for you and your family.

  14. 14
    Christina says:

    I love your letters to your baby girl. They are so beautiful! What an incredible, strong women you are.

  15. 15

    When I saw that first picture come up, I thought the light between the leg shadows were temple spires at first…kinda cool. What a sweet post Kami. I love the little glimpses into your thoughts and heart. What a beautiful resting place. I’m glad you find some peace there.

  16. 16

    What a beautiful place for Afton to rest. The story of the bunnies is just wonderful.

  17. 17

    We will come down soon and go up to see it in the Spring time! We miss our little girl.

  18. 18
  19. 19

    Thanks again Kami for your beautiful thoughts and pictures! I feel like we have the opportunity to go along with you on this experience just a little bit. It’s so good to know we’re not alone!

  20. 20
    a narretto says:

    always love your letters to Afton.

    what a sweet bunny stories, love there are so many bunnies there

    Thank you for sharing you family you always remind me how precious our children are and to be thankful for each day

  21. 21

    Your story of the bunnies touched my heart! I lost a little boy almost six years ago. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It can be such a painful road to recovery, but a beautiful one too! I am guessing that you probably have a good support system & a network of people who have dealt with the same thing, but if you ever need someone to talk to, please let me know! Oh, and thanks also for your article about how to help & what to say to those who have lost a child. It was perfect! I’ve had multiple people ask me what helped the most, and I am going to start sending them your article.

  22. 22

    Oh my goodness, that is so beautiful. What a tender mercy those sweet, hopping little bunnies must be for your family. That just brought me to tears.

  23. 23

    Lump in my throat, so sweet! {{{Hugs}}}

  24. 24

    I’m so sorry for this devastating loss of yours! I love bunnies & wrote a children’s book about my pet bunny, Cupcake. That’s why a friend sent me your blog. I’ve told people I want bunnies released at my grave one day.

  25. 25

    I came here to take a peek at a cute project you made and then was led to different posts and wound up here. I can’t tell you how my heart breaks for you; but I do know the loss of a child. My youngest son passed away in 2004 at 10 yrs old and it doesn’t really matter how old or how young; it just doesn’t seem “natural”. One thing I do know – God has kept me and my family through this valley that we will walk on this earth; He is the lifter of my head and keeps a song in my heart. God has not done this for your hurt, but rather to strengthen you and your family. May you find comfort and rest in Jesus Christ.

  26. 26

    I love the bunnies. So many bunnies. And I love that you already had felt peace of that beautiful resting place. It is so pretty up there. I’m so glad I’ve been able to see it with you!

  27. 27

    I love that bunny story. Gives me goosebumps. What a sweet and tender reminder!
    I love that cemetery. It’s one of my favorites. There are several people I know buried up there. In high school, one of my tennis buddies passed away and was buried up there. I would go up there often just for the peace and serenity. What a perfect place for a perfect angel.

  28. 28

    Sweetness poured out in this post. A perfect place for your most precious Afton.

  29. 29
    Jill Sumsion says:

    So sweet Kami. I think about you often. Hugs.

  30. 30

    Oh Kami I LOVE those darn bunnies…they just look like they are SUPPOSED to be there you know? Thinking of you often and sweet Afton.

Speak Your Mind

*